Save Me

I’m writing this not to seek attention or pity but for myself, to distract myself from doing things, things no one would want to see or know about. My life is a mess and not until recently that I have reached the worst levels of depression and I have experienced nothing worse basically this is shit its a nightmare no one wants this no one would understand what it feels like. I want the world to look into my head I want my thoughts and mind to be read by everyone cause the hardest part is explaining something you’re not sure about. Why am I depressed why am I unhappy why cant this feeling fade away like how everything else does why cant I just be normal? This sudden chill in your blood out of nowhere, you start shaking and you need something to comfort you and the things that brought joy to your soul cant do that, you don’t find joy at all in anything even though you want to. You want to feel happy you want this madness this insanity to leave you, but it doesn’t. You start hating yourself you hate everything around you. I wanna rip my veins out I want to slit my throat I want to scream my lungs out I want to get rid of all the pain. Its the worst feeling ever to hate yourself cause you’re left with thoughts of suicide, why would I wanna kill myself I don’t know I just wanna get rid of this feeling its bugging me I cant sleep I cant eat I cant breathe I cant stop crying I want freedom, I’m weak I can barely catch a breath. No one knows what you’re going through and you just cant talk to anyone about it cause no matter what you can’t deliver this feeling in words, depression cant be put into words and I’m here trying to let it out but its not working, I need help god. Save me.